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I'm Sad                                           I'm Mad

I'm Confused                      I'm Frustrated

What do I do?

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It’s normal to be sad about being adopted. It is also normal to be mad, frustrated, and confused. Not only is it normal, it’s actually a good idea to feel some of these things! Let’s talk about each of these feelings and how you can handle them when they rise up inside you.

I'M SAD

It is very sad that your birthmom and birthdad were not able to parent you.

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It’s normal to be sad because you miss your birthparents, whether you know them or not.

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If sin wasn’t in the world, every child that was born would have a great mom and dad to live with. It’s okay to be sad that the world has sin in it and that you didn’t get to live with your birthmom and birthdad.

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You may feel different from your friends, and that’s sad, too. Nobody likes to feel different or weird.

I'm mad

It’s not fair, is it? Most, if not all, of your friends probably live with their birthparents, right? It’s normal to be mad that your birthmom and birthdad had you but then didn’t keep you to parent you.

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Did you know that anger is healthy if you use it the way God wants you to? God even says in the Bible, “Be angry!” (Ephesians 4:26) We have to learn to express our anger in healthy ways – no hitting or throwing things or hurting yourself or others. Anger sometimes pushes us to deal with things we’ve been avoiding, or it may cause us to act to help others. The rest of the verse about anger says, “Be angry, but don’t sin.”

i'm frustrated

Feelings of frustration come up inside us when we feel like we don’t have the power to control things.

 

As a kid, you might feel frustrated a lot. This can be because you think your parents boss you around too much, you have to go to school, you can’t drive, you can’t even spend your money when you want!

 

Being frustrated with having been adopted is normal, too. You didn’t have a choice in being adopted, and you didn’t get to choose who adopted you.

 

It’s easy to feel frustrated about that.

I'M confused

Adoption is tricky.

 

It’s happy and sad, easy and hard, normal and weird, all at the same time.

 

It’s confusing to think that God allowed something bad to happen so something good can happen.

1.

TAKE A BIG, DEEP BREATH.

I know grown-ups say this a lot, but it’s true, and it’s something

that even adults need to do.

It’s good to stop and take a deep breath.

It gives your body a second to calm down and then you can focus on how to start feeling better.

2.

                TALK TO YOUR PARENTS.
Your parents have seen a lot in their lives, and they can handle this, too. You can be honest with them about everything you’re feeling, and they will understand. So, talk to them every time you start having these feelings.

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And then, if you’re feeling these feelings a lot, your parents may want you to go talk to another grown-up, a counselor. Counselors are awesome! They are like doctors for your heart and emotions. They listen to you and then help you work out your feelings, so you can feel better.

 

There’s nothing wrong with going to a counselor – adults and kids should all go talk to someone when their feelings get bigger and bigger without going away.

3.

                            TAKE ACTION!
What is something you do that you enjoy and could do to make yourself feel better?

 

Do you like to write? Write down how you’re feeling.

 

Do you like to draw? Draw a picture.

 

Do you like to run or play soccer or swim? Exercising makes our bodies strong and healthy, but guess what? It’s also good for our brains and our hearts when we’re feeling down about something.

 

Think about one of your favorite (healthy things, no video games!) activities and do it until you start feeling better.

4.

PRAY AND READ THE BIBLE.

There are so many times in the Bible God helps us with our big feelings and wants to help us feel better. Here are a few:

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  • “I told you these things so that you can have peace in Me, Jesus. In this world you will have trouble. But be brave! I have defeated the world!”
     

Everyone has problems, but you can have peace that Jesus is bigger than our problems, and you can have courage that He is stronger than our problems! (John 16:33)

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  • “Trust the Lord with all your heart. Don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in everything you do. And He will give you success.”
     

Trust God even when you don’t understand. He understands, and He has a great plan to give you success in your life. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

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  • “‘I say this because I know what I have planned for you,” says the Lord. ‘I have good plans for you. I don’t plan to hurt you. I plan to give you hope and a good future.'"
     

God’s got this! He has an awesome plan for a great life. He rescued you from a bad situation because of how much He loves you. (Jeremiah 29:11)

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  • “So don’t worry, because I am with you. Don’t be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support you with my right hand that saves you.”
     

God is always with you. He promises to always help you. He’s even so strong that He only needs one hand to save you from anything that happens! (Isaiah 41:10)

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